You Wouldn't Know It to Look at her, But the Lady Next Door is Having a Nervous Breakdown

Lol okay so I didn't update for a while. I've not updated for so long that I can't even remember what font size I use here. Anyways, for those of you who have been on the moon for the past month or so then I'm now living in Glasgow, doing my Uni course. Don't really know what to say, I'm enjoying it. It's difficult but rewarding and I'll leave it at that for now. The whole experience is fantastic! Yeah the work can be overwhelming but the work is only a fraction of the whole thing. I was at my first Lab for Astronomy yesterday which was really fun, I'm finally beginning to feel really fitted in, in terms of I know I'm doing what I want to do. Being at the Observatory at the edge of the city just felt right, and I can see myself having a career at similar places when I'm older.

Went to a guest lecture tonight for Physoc taken by none other than Heather the Weather! Yeah, actually Heather the Weather, from the news, who reads the forecast. It was awesome and she's a lovely lady. There were also a total of 17, and I'm not kidding, 17 pizzas to be eaten. Really looking forward to more of the Astrosoc events. There's gonna be some night observation soon so I'm all up for that! (Providing I get home without being murdered on Maryhill Road). Might be going to the Science Centre this Sunday to help out with various other people in the faculty to create a giant representation of The Sun. Basically, 2009 is the International Year of Astronomy and one of the things that Scotland is doing to celebrate is to create a geographic scale-model of the Solar system (I know, it sounds a bit confusing), which should be the largest scale model of the Solar System ever made. Basically we start at Glasgow, at the Science Centre. We're the Sun, and the folks up in Shetland are Neptune. You get the Idea, more can be read about here. So in order to Represent the Sun, they're looking for people to stand around the Science Centre holding yellow sheets of card. Should be a giggle.

If you ARE interested in getting involved in the International Year of Astronomy, then a wee list of events can also be found here. Some of the places are out of the way a bit but if you are in these areas then I'd recommend going along. I think I'll try and get to the Observation night at Acre Road on Saturday. So yeah, one month of being here and I've turned into a total Astronomy geek! But it IS Interesting and I'm having fun learning it.

One thing I've found about Glasgow is there's always something to do, however, these somethings usually involved burning a hole in the wallet! It is very tempting to splurge while here. Jemma and I had a lovely spontaneous trip into town the other week, and I ended up just randomly getting rid of £30, but it was good. We went to John Lewis and Coffee'd it like a couple of old ladies, and then watched someone get attacked outside Buchanan Galleries. It was disturbing, this place REALLY aint Stranraer! I'm also not sure what to do for my 18th. I know it will inevitably cost loads, thats granted seeing as I also need to get back down to Stranraer. I was thinking of going to see Shinedown on the 7th. I loved Sound of Madness, but their first album has no effect on me and I haven't heard Us and Them. I don't think I'll bother. I'm gonna go to Cineworld with a couple of friends and I fancy having a night out on the town but with all the costs I'm going to have to be reasonable. However, it's my 18th, so it's a pretty big deal.

I've been keeping healthy, been going to the gym 2 or 3 times every week. Although I've developed a horrid addiction to buying clothes. Really trying to keep a lid on the spending but right now it seems that EVERYTHING needs money. I don't have a shortage of money, but I'd still prefer to stick within a budget. I had a maths class test today. I don't know if I passed it or not, but I think I may have just scraped a pass. Therefore I'm going out for some drinks with friends tomorrow, and by some, I mean a lot (Hopefully).

Went to Botanic Gardens, was chased by a Squirrel. It was quite pretty there but you DO still hear things like "AMY! PICK YOUR DOALLY UP RIGHT NOO AN' COME HERE. AH MEAN IT, TREAT IT LIKE A WEAN. GET AVER HERE". This is audible from the opposite side of the River Kelvin. Jenny made me an amazing stir fry and my room smelled fantastic for the whole night. We're gonna have a little Halloween Party in our flat lol, and then probably go out. Fun! 

Definitely feeling more tired these days though, there just aren't enough hours in the day. I usually only get finished everything at around one o clock, as I need my freetime, but I don't get to start my free-time until the days work has been done. So I get to bed late but I need to get up every weekday at 7. Most nights I get 6 hours sleep tops, usually 5. Very nearly fell asleep in Maths yesterday, I was so close to it. But the thing is, if you nap during the day, you won't get to sleep at night, which makes you more tired during the day. It's a vicious cycle that goes round and round. Anyway I think thats enough updating for now..

I'm Not Dead!

Okay so I've not written anything here for over a month! Sorry but I've been busy and crazy and haven't really had the time! I PROMISE I will update this week and get this thing running again though. I stopped updating because I was going through some self loathing issues. They're sort of gone and I am sane again! So updates can commence.

BUT I am only here today to WHORE my Deviantart. Please people, visit it or something, you have no idea how difficult it is for people to look at your work on that place. And it's not fair when I lose out to some millionaire who can actually afford an amazing DSLR. So please, look at my deviantart :).

Clicky Clicky =]

Bye babes! Update this week, I pwomise.

Sunday

So yes, I haven't done a proper blogpost for ages now. I tried to post another survey the other night but something mucked up with the layout and I deleted the post. This post is going to sound melodramatic by the way. Yes, I may be selfish, or have no empathy, or I'm cynical. But all i really do is try to express my feelings, it just so happens that I don't tend to see the good things in life, very rarely in fact. I always look at the worst.

So in honesty I'm not great. I thought I'd start blogging properly etc after this feeling of craziness is over but it still hasn't passed so what the hey! However, my loathing towards my job has gone and I now love it again. I love my colleagues and I enjoy the structure and the talking to people and just having something to do. Besides, I'd rather be at work most days. So much in fact that i've booked this entire week for work. If you wanna do something with me this week, not that you would, don't ask. Even if I'm not at work, i'm avaliable for it. So if they get an emergency gaggle of customers in at 4pm, I'll be there. It's not a bad thing focusing on work, especially in the service industry. At least there you don't go in expecting to have deep conversations with the customers. It's all very good.

I have a new set of mugs that were bought cheaply from Morrisons for £2.49. They mean a lot to me. They remind me that they are for university. They remind me that I have something, a means of escaping this utterly poisonous town. The people who are messing with my mind are going to be gone in 41 days. I'll be out of here, and they'll be nothing but a bad memory. However, it isn't easy to look at it that way, not when I'm still here. I just cannot wait to leave this place and the people. Some people are also flakes and I cannot stand that. I could rant about people for ages and ages but i guess i shouldn't expect so much from society when I tend to spit in it's face a lot of the time. That being said, if I changed, nobody else would. Society is cruel, and I'd rather serve them for 5 minutes over a counter than make friends with them.

That being said, aside from these poisonous people, I am thankful that I have VERY FEW but extremely good friends and they know who they are. I think i can count them all on one hand. I'm trying to focus on other things at the moment, if something or someone enrages me I'm getting better at telling myself not to get angry because it's not worth it, but I guess i do need to vent so thats what this blogpost is.

My true friends all have birthdays next month, and all within 10 days, they're all turning 18. My bank account is going to suffer, hence why I also want to work more hours.  I have Transformers on DVD...  I only bought it because of Linkin' Park's theme for the second movie, which I have yet to see but will watch after I have watched the first one. I watched The Incredibles last night, after it sitting on my shelf for around a month, It was good. Waaaaay better than the awful "Madagascar". I can't think of a film that bored me more to death. I'm looking forward to the next Alex Rider book by Anthony Horowitz. yes, I know they're recommended 10-year old reading material, but I have a certificate which proves I can understand literary classics. I just don't choose to read them.

I'm still at war with the man in the mirror and I'm getting a little concerned that this is one of those long-lasting effect things. But I know there will be a point when I'm happy with myself. I just don't know what I need to do to get there. And I will do it, if i only knew what was required. The mirror and the scales are horrible though and I find myself at them frequently throughout the day. I'm not going to spend money for a while now, so any nights out etc I will be drinking nothing. No more lunches in town, No more clothes buying. 

The Royal Bank of Scotland are also very unhelpful. They will do anything to get you in the door, but once you're in, they couldn't care less. I'm going to use this as inspiration to be the best Tearoom-worker they ever had.

Because The Best Things in Life are Trivial!

1. Where is your cell phone? Why is this Question ALWAYS in Surveys? On my bed.
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend? They don't exist! :P
3. Your hair? Slowly turning Brown again, it looks nice today =)
4. Work? Is Fantastic =D
5. Your father? Watching TV
6. Your favorite thing? Probably Desperate Housewives 
7. Your dream last night? Had no Dream last night :)
8. Your favorite drink? Coke
9. Your dream car? A green one? A lime Green one!
10. The room you’re in? My Bedroom!
11. Your pet? I have 4 Dogs, the Boring one, the All-Bark-But-No-Bite Bitch, The Sook and the Cute one
12. Your fears? Have too many 
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? Maybe Teaching Physics.. Or working with a really cool Physics Company. I'll be happy as long as I can speak Norwegian by then.
14. Where did you hang out last night? Here.
15. What you’re not good at? Focusing on the Good instead of the Bad.
16. Eyebrow rings on the opposite sex? Don't really mind but I prefer Bars and stuff to Rings. Rings are ew.
17. One of your wish list items? A DSLR Camera.
18. Where you grew up? Good old Stair Estates =).
19. The last thing you did? Had my tea.
20. What are you wearing? Black T-Shirt, Black Trousers. Was at work today hehe.
21. What aren’t you wearing? My Glasses, though I should, I have been neglecting the poor dears.
23. Your computer? Likes to Crash a lot, despite being new.
24. Your life? Is good, I just don't realise it often.
25. Your mood? Good today.
26. Missing? Nobody.
27. Who are you thinking about right now? Him.
28. Your car? Dinnae have yin.
29. Your work? Didn't you already ask me this? It's good! Really good =D.
30. Your summer? I'm not a Summer person, it hasn't been very good.. but the reason for that will go away when I go to University.
31. Your relationship status? Single.
32. Your favorite colours? Green, Purple and Orange.
33. When is the last time you laughed? Earlier this Afternoon.
34. Last time you cried? This morning, was watching the Desperate Housewives finale lol.
35. School? I don't go there anymore =(.

MOUTHOLOGY
What is your salad dressing of choice? Squeeze of Lemon.
What is your favorite fast food restaurant? Meh, I'm not big on fast food, it all tastes the same.
What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? Castle Kennedy & Gardens Tearoom =P.
What food could you eat every day and not get sick of it? Carrot Cake.
What are your pizza toppings of choice? I'm not big on Pizza either.
What do you like to put on your toast? Butter + Jam.
What is your favorite type of gum? Airwaves, always reminds me of Winter =).

TECHNOLOGY
What is your wallpaper on your computer? Actually, it's the picture at the top of the blogpost. I thank Jemma for linking me to that hilarious Llama.
How many televisions are in your house? 5 I think, though only one of them is useful now that the switchover has taken place.
Do you use a laptop or desktop? Laptop.

BIOLOGY
Are you right-handed or left-handed? Right.
Do you like your smile? Well yeah, I know I have good teeth but when I smile, one of my eyes goes bigger than the other, so I don't like that.
What’s your best feature? Hair probably?
Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Teeth.
Which of your five senses do you think is keenest? Sight.
When was the last time you had a cavity? A Cavity? Could you be more specific? But never I don't think.
What is the heaviest item you lifted last? Only thing I can think of is the Packs of Drinks at work.
Have you ever been unconscious? Yeah, I fainted after I got my brace because it Hurt so much I couldn't eat, so I just conked out.

BULLCRAPOLOGY
If you could, would you wanna know the day you were going to die? No, Spoilers!
Is love for real? For some people.
If you could change your first name, what would you change it to? I actually love my First name, I think it's nice and uncommon.
What color do you think looks best on you? Black.
Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake? Yeah.
Have you ever saved someone’s life? Nah.
Has someone ever saved yours? Nah.

DAREOLOGY
Would you walk naked down a public street for £100,000? For that amount of money, probably.
Would you kiss a member of the same sex for £100? I'd do that for free ;).
Would you cut off one of your little fingers for £200,000? No. 
Would you never blog again for £50,000? Yeah.
Would you pose naked in a magazine for £250,000? No.
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for £1000? No.
Would you give up watching television for a year for £25,000? Yeah.

DUMBOLOGY
What is in your left pocket? Nothing.
Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie? Never Seen it.
Do you sit or stand in the shower? Stand.
Could you live with roommates? Yeah, but don't know if they could put up with me for long!
How many pairs of flip flops do you own? 1
Where were you born? Aberdeen.
Last time you had a run-in with the cops? Never.
What do you want to be when you grow up? Teacher maybes, Physicist in general though.
have you ever got drunk/high with this person? What Person?

LASTOLOGY
Friend you talked to? Can't Remember.
Last person you called? Haha, Amy. 
Last thing you said out loud? No idea.

FAVORITOLOGY
Number? 7
Seasons? Winter, don't ask me why, I will spend hours telling you.

CURRENTOLOGY
Missing someone? No.
Mood? Okays.
Listening to? Breakdown - Guns N Roses  (I love Guns N Roses lol, like, majorly).
Worrying about? Nothing at the minute, today is a good day.

RANDOMOLOGY
First place you went this morning? you mean like out of the House? Work :D
What can you not wait to do? Get to Glasgow.
What’s the last movie you saw? The Strangers.
Do you smile often? No actually, I usually have an axe to grind lol.. My eyebrows are usually in an angry position.
Are you a friendly person? Well.. to only a few people, yes.

1. Where is the person you like now? I dunno, at home?
2. What were you doing Friday night? Sam's 18th :).
3. Name something you did yesterday? Went for a walk with Blair.
4. Last person you text messaged? Jenny.
5. Who was the last person to call you? The Gardens :). Fiona in particular!
6. What are you doing right now? This, contemplating going running at 9.
7. Next time you travel out of the country where will it be to? Hopefully somewhere in Scandinavia.
8. What color are your eyes? An Irresistible blend of Dark Brown with a hint of Green.
9. Are you allergic to anything? Nah.
10. Are you dating the last person you kissed? Nopes.
11. Last place you ordered food from? Nobody Delivers to out here lol :P.
13. What color is your hair? Black usually, but under light it's a Gingery Brown. Naturally it's pale unsaturated Brown.
14. Do you remember singing any songs as a kid? I remember singing a Song about Dinosaurs when I was in a Hospital Bed.
15. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Probably, all of my kisses are Platonic so I don't see why not =/.
16. Who knows a secret or two about you? Various People see different sides of me.
17. When was the last time you lied? Sadly I do it almost every day.
18. Do you like fire? Yeah.
19. Did you have a nap today? Nah.
21. What do you wear more, jeans or jog pants? Jeans.
25. Where did you get the shirt you’re wearing now? Haha, it's my brothers. He's beginning to regret the day when I could finally squeeze into his small clothes.
26. Have you ever wanted to be a teacher? Yeah still do.
28. Is anyone jealous of you? I don't see why anyone would have a Reason to be.
30. Have any regrets? Not really.
31. Where were you 1 hour ago? Here.
32. Where were you 8 hours ago? Watching DH in the Living Room.
35. Has anyone ever told you that they like you more than as a friend? Nope.
37. Is cheating ever okay? I'd be inclined to say no for most cases, but then there's always the exceptional ones like if your boyfriend beat you up or something, or if you were married to an evil person, or a celibate person. Nothing's always cut and dry.
38. Who was the last person you rode in a car with? Mr Taxi Driver I think.
39. What are you looking forward to? Glasgow.
41. Have you kissed anyone in the past week? Yep.
43. What are you listening to? Breakdown - Guns N Roses   again.
45. Favorite Sports Team? Whats a Sports team? :P
46. What song do you want played at your funeral? November Rain or Civil War by Guns N Roses or Highway To Hell by AC/DC.
47. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Dunno.
48. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? Is it only 10am? I have to wait ages for the Postie!
49. Who will you be with this Saturday night? I don't have any plans so probably just myself.
50. What woke you up this morning? Nothing in Particular, I just did. 
52. Is tomorrow going to be a good night? It better be.
53. Did you kiss or hug anyone today? Not today.
55. How many myspace accounts do you have? 1
56. Do or did you like school? The last year wasn't that great, but I would love to go back to it..
56. Would you take a bullet for anyone? For most people, but not really evil people.
57. Where would you like to live? Norway or Maine.
58. Do long distance relationships work? Going by my history of stalking Americans, they don't seem to :P.
59. Does your crush like you? Probably.
60. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Either starting a second degree, or trucking.
61. Have you ever thought about getting your lip pierced? Nah.
62. Does a kiss make your cuts feel better? Not really, but kisses are nice.
63. Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor? Nah.
64. Can you cook? I like to think so lol.
65. What shoe do you put on first, left or right? Right.
66. Have you ever brushed your teeth while in the shower? Nu.
67. Have you had more than 3 boyfriends/girlfriends at the same time? No!
68. Have you ever thought about your death? Yah, but it's not as if I constantly think about it.
70. Where do you put your towel after taking a shower? On the radiator.
71. What color is your shower curtain? Our shower is a cubicle with glass panels :P.
72. Have you ever had stitches? Nah.
73. Are you straight? Nah.
74. Did you believe that girls have cooties? No, that's stupid.
75. Do you know how to use chop sticks? Never used them.
76. Can you finish the phrase, “Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?"? Yes but I don't like Spongebob.
78. Do you sometimes believe that guys have PMS? Yes.
79. Who was the last person you couldn’t take your eyes off? Not saying lol.
80. Have you ever given money to a homeless person? Yeah.
81. Have you ever run over an animal? Nope.
82. What is your favourite cereal? I don't have one, I go through periods of loving a Cereal until I get sick of it.
83. Have you ever had an Oreo with peanut butter? No, I can't stand Peanut butter lol.
84. Have you gotten a text today? Not today.
85. Do you think its right for straight guys to get their tongue pierced? Don't have a Problem with it.
86. Where’s your favorite place to be? Work, or Outside, or Barpazz lol.
88. It’s Wednesday afternoon, where are you usually? Nowadays, nothing.. =/.
89. Who are the last four people to send you a text message? Some Company trying to Scam me, Jenny, Murray and Amy.
91. What are you listening to? Take Me Under - Three Days Grace.
92. Your christmas list consists of? Oooh I don't really mind, I just love Christmas as it is! 
93. Your ex just asked you out and you say? I need to get an ex first.
95. You need a new pair of jeans, what store do you go to first? Peacocks lol.
96. How do you feel about your hair? After today, I love it (That's a story for another day though lol).
97. What time do you wake up for school? I DON'T ANYMORE :(. Used to get up at 8 though, I loved it in winter. Getting up and it was freezing, and dark, and I'd stand at the radiator desperate for heat. Am I the only one who can SMELL when a Radiator's on? Seriously, I can sense when a radiator is on. It must give off a smell or something.
98. What movie is in your DVD player? I have this Anal paranoia that makes me never leave a DVD in a player/
99. What was the last picture you took? A Picture of me and Pippi on our last night out.
100. Who calls you by a nickname? Don't have one, but a lot of people call me Steve =/. It's STEPHEN!
101. What side of the bed do you sleep on? Who actually has a preference, for gods sake.
102. Do you like roller coasters? Noooo!
103. Favorite T.V. show? You have to ask? :P
104. Your last IM was from? Zanda lol.
106. When’s the next time you’ll kiss someone? Couldn't tell you. Platonically, within the week. Romantically? Who knows.
107. What do your pants look like? They're... my old school trousers... You're trying to make me blubber! RAWRRR!
108. Are you tired? Nah I'm fine.
109. Do you have to pee? A little bit.
110. Would you kiss the cook of tonights dinner? Mother? Of course.
111. Laugh much? I don't lol. I tend to fake laugh. It takes a lot for me to be really amused.
112. What are your plans for nxt Saturday? Don't know!
117. The most excitement you had this week? The Nights out.
118. What do you usually order at Taco Bell? Pfft, I wish.
119. Have you ever sat all the way through Gone With the Wind? Frankly my dear, I haven't watched it.
120. When was the last time you were up all night? Can't remember.
123. Do you sleep with a fan on? Nah.
124. What’s the best thing about winter? Don't start me :D. If I had to say... AARGH, I can't choose lol.
125. How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking? A long time, I usually don't let anyone know what I'm thinking. I'm a scheming bitch.
127. Are you currently planning a trip? No.
128. Who was the last person you read something out loud to? Cannae Remember.
129. Last time you forced yourself to do something? Yesterday.
130. Have you ever googled your name and found somebody? Somebody who?
140. Who’s your number one? You really can't ask me to pick a favourite person in the world.
141. Can you drive? Nah :(.
142. What makes you feel like you are young again? Well, seeing that MAN from Round the Twist with Jemma made me feel young again. Was he a Mayor? I know he was awesome.
143. Do you ever type “kik” or “;p’;” instead of “lol”? Yeah alot lol.
144. Do you know how to play chess? Nah.
145. Whats on your mind right now? Going Running at 9, I'm scared of how much I'll get pissed off with myself.

Something Quick

"Finally, there are the Ones who Simply Vow to do Better Next Time, and Pray for Forgiveness.

Sometimes, their Prayers are Answered"

:)

When Eddie Said he Didn't Like his Teddy, You Knew he was a No-Good Kid.

Okay, I know I haven't actually shutted up on here for a while, but I'm going to Greece on Tuesday so I'll at least be quiet for a week then! Also, I haven't actually posted a proper thing for a while, it's mostly been incoherent stuff, a product of my weird mood lately. But I think it's passing, slowly, but it's passing. I'm still fighting my demons, but I know I have stuff to look forward to which is helping me alot!

I went a walk with my sister, Donna, and my youngest nephew, Archie, tonight. It was really good! We went round half of the Black Loch, then continued up the drive to Lochinch Castle and kept heading for the A75. It got pretty cloudy quickly though. Between the Castle and the Main Road, you pass a Very old Church and Graveyard (Not the one Pictured) which was apparently the Old Church for the Old OLD Castle Kennedy Village (I know nothing about Local History so you have to take my rambling with a pinch of salt here), that being said, there are ruined buildings near the old Church in the woods somewhere, so it might be true. We had a look inside, didn't go far though, sometimes, really old graves can can just cave in. It was interesting, it's cool to have a look around at the past. We saw a Gravestone for the previous Earl of Stair (The current one's father) but I don't know if that's his actual grave or whether they just put a gravestone there because it's the family plot. There's something cool about seeing ruins though! Because you always end up getting an image in your head of what the place would look like when it wasn't ruined, when there were people who went there every Sunday. It would have been very pretty, as it sits in plain view of the White Loch.

We continued our wee walk and then came to Inch Church, woo another Church! Haha. This one aint dilapidated and tis in the picture above. We had a look round the graves there and found a fair number of people we knew. Then the clouds came in, like, majorly. I thought it was gonna thunder, but it didn't, GAH at our stupid unsaturated, pastel-coloured, tasteless weather system. We don't get ANYTHING! Hell we don't even get monsoon-like rain anymore! But we got picked up by David then so by the time it started to bucket we were back home. It was good though, was nice to get out.

I'm going to Greece on Tuesday, personally I cannot stand the heat in the mediterranean, plus I don't think the scenery has ANYTHING to offer there. The hillsides are just full of scorched barren rock, okay, they have Pine trees, but it's not exactly Alpine scenery is it? However, I'll have a good time I'm sure. Just as long as no conmen try and play us again, I know all the tricks in the book now and I have a good headbutt on me. We're going to Paphos, where we've been before, so the good thing is that I know where everything is! I can remember exactly where the good restaurants are. Also, if you ever go to Paphos, NEVER go to the Captain's Table. That Restaurant is horrendous. I have loads of books to burn through but I doubt I'll get the chance to read them. My mum will probably drag us out all over the place in the soaring temperatures. I'm really not good with heat.

I could mention my mood now, but I don't wanna speak too soon! But I will say that however I was feeling about school, I'm beginning to get past that now. Stranraer Academy is my past. It's OVER. I'm going to Glasgow in september and now cannot wait! Yes, the people who have been poisoning my mind lately are still there for now, but once I leave Stranraer, they'll be gone. Out of sight, out of mind. I have so much to look forward to. Yeah.

Anyway Imma go, I'll shut up for a bit now, byeee.

What A Waste

"Yes, I Remember the World, Every Detail.

And What I Remember most is how afraid I was, What a waste.

You see, to live in Fear is Not to live at all.

I wish I could tell this to those I left behind, but would it do any Good?

Probably Not.

I understand now, There will always be those who face their fears,

And there will always be those,

Who run away."